The men that at first "give you" beautiful moments and then become indifferent is a learned attitude. "Alternating doses of doubt with others of indifference is an ancient patriarchal strategy to make women suffer and, with it, make them more submissive, vulnerable, and dedicated," Coral Herrera affirms. An old trick that Herrera calls "giving lime and sand," that is, first "giving the moon and the stars" and then ignore, is a strategy that works for patriarchal men that causes insecurity in women. With this, women are in love and available for when they want. Here we explain what their strategy is about:
Here are the three tips that the expert gives us:
1. Bringing you the moon and the stars: The first step of the patriarchal seducers is to make you feel unique, special, and beautiful (so that you fall madly in love). Sometimes speeches are accompanied by gifts such as flowers, chocolates, or jewelry.
2. Indifference: In the second step, this type of man seduces you and begins to behave mysteriously. They start acting indifferent; they can do it suddenly or gradually. They stop answering your calls, spend several hours or days absent, space out their text messages, and tell you that they are busy with work. When they are with you, they are absent and spend time checking their cell phone or seeing the first screen nearby.
3. Uncertainty: The third step of these seducers is to generate confusion and anguish. Some common phrases are "I don''t know what''s wrong with me," "I need to find myself," "I''m not at my best," "I''m afraid of love," "I don''t know what I''m looking for."
How to escape
The key to not falling is "cutting off the relationship as soon as we start to feel fear, insecurity, or anguish," says Herrera. You don''t have to understand what is happening to the patriarchal man instead you have to focus on what you are feeling
Usually, we are expected to be understanding and wait to see if our love generates more love, so it is vital to "rebel and leaves these relationships when they generate painful emotions," says Herrera.
We must break the alliance that "we were born to suffer" as stated by some aunts or grandmothers attached to the Catholic religion.
"We were not born to endure or to be mistreated: as soon as we are clear that we deserve an honest and committed partner, it is much easier to understand that it is best to run in the opposite direction," writes Herrera.
The expert in romantic love closes by telling us that we must be practical:
"May there be only brave and generous people in our lives, people who know how to enjoy love."